Unwelcome Gifts: Ambushed by Grace

Have you ever been ambushed by a gift?  Did the Gifter insist, even though you swore up and down you didn’t need it?  Did they end up being right?  Yeah, me too. *********************************** December 2005.  Christmas was approaching.  At the time, my husband and I were directing a college ministry.   ‘Twas the season of…[READ MORE]


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Waiting through fear and grief, “Do not be afraid!”

  “Your child has autism.  He’ll need at least 40 hours of intensive therapy a week.  He may not learn to speak, function or live independently.  He’ll likely not go to college, marry, or have his own family.  You’ll have to abort your plans and rearrange your lives to care for him full-time.  His prognosis?…[READ MORE]


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Why I Don’t Mind Being a Dis-Abled Family in a Hyper-Abled World: Part 2

    Today’s post:  A continuation from Part One, “Why I Don’t Mind Being a Dis-Abled Family in a Hyper-Abled World.”   The Snack Shack A few weeks after we moved in, Justin set up a Snack Shack in the garage to “sell” free Otter Pops.  It was more a ploy to help him meet and make…[READ MORE]


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Why I Don’t Mind Being a Dis-Abled Family in a Hyper-Abled World: Part 1

    In the last nine years post diagnosis, our family has made three significant moves to new school districts or cities.  Each move was driven primarily by Jeremy’s schooling needs.  In this regard, perhaps we’re no different from many modern families. After an extraordinary run of six years at our last school district, I thought…[READ MORE]


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Why This Special Needs Tiger Mama Bear Didn’t Intervene

  There are helicopter parents, then there are Special Needs parent stealth bombers.  How this Asian Special Needs Tiger Mama Bear (I know.  That’s a lot of mixed metaphors) nearly became a weapon of mass destruction and ravaged a playground when her cub got threatened.  Why I didn’t intervene. ******************************************** It was a classic Special Needs…[READ MORE]


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Faith Through Disappointment – Part 4: Get in the WORD

    In Part one of the series, “Faith Through Disappointment,” I introduced the “Four Gets” in my journey to wholeness.  The first was to Get REAL.  Be honest with yourself and with God about your grief and anger. Part two, was Get HELP.  In your struggle, don’t shrivel from self-imposed martyrdom.  Permit yourself a White Flag…[READ MORE]


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Faith Through Disappointment – Part 3: GET PEOPLE

    Four-part series, “Faith Through Disappointment” continues. Of the “Four Gets,” the first is to Get REAL:  Giving ourselves permission to grieve or get angry. The second, is to Get HELP:  Be willing to lean on others.  We were not meant to carry our burdens alone. The third, is to Get PEOPLE:  God provides help…[READ MORE]


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Faith Through Disappointment – Part 2: GET HELP

  In the previous post, I began a four-part series, “Faith through Disappointment.”  Of the Four Gets, the first was to Get REAL (giving ourselves permission to grieve or get angry.)   The series continues with the second Get:  Get HELP.    ************************************************************** 2)  GET HELP – Be willing to receive/ask for help Asking for help is…[READ MORE]


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Faith through Disappointment – Part 1: ALCF Women’s Conference 2013

On October 5, 2013, I had the privilege of speaking at my church, Abundant Life Christian Fellowship in Mountain View, CA.  It was an honor to be part of the teaching team for the annual Women’s Conference, composed of keynote Dr. Gloria White-Hammond, and five fellow workshop speakers:  Each uniquely gifted and passionate about seeing women healed and…[READ MORE]


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Goldeluxe & The Three “Must Bears” of Special Needs Ministry

  A tribute to special needs ministry champions who honor our families with “Gold-deluxe” service.   I’ve been each of these three “Must Bears” at some point.   Supporting complex families like ours can be a delicate, sensitive and prickly endeavor.  Thank you for your calling, passion and dedication to serve where many others dare not…[READ MORE]


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Why won’t You fix this? Why does God let this happen?

  “Why do You let this happen?!” In 2005, we’d been living post-autism for a year.   Three year old Jeremy had been immersed in aggressive therapy for 40+ hours a week.  The New Normal left no time for naps, leisurely trips to the park, or any other typical toddler-activities. Undergirding all the therapy was a severely…[READ MORE]


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Why did God let this happen? Did You lead us out here to die?

    “Did You lead us out here to die?” As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them. They were terrified and cried out to the Lord. They said to Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to…[READ MORE]


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31 Crazy Things Special Needs Ministry Leaders Never Say

    Inspired by this recent humorous post by Dale Hudson of Relevant Children’s Ministry,  here are:   31 Flavors of Crazy:  Things Said By No Special Needs Ministry Leader, Ever “Special Needs”?  Whatev.  Just throw him in.  It’ll be fine. Please, no more volunteers.  Go serve 1:1 on the parking team or something. I’ve…[READ MORE]


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“Who me, a Special Needs Parent? I’m the wrong person for this kid!”

  My mother often laments how I am such a LOUD girl. When we’re on the phone, she typically asks me to turn down my volume.  Or better yet, speak about a foot away from the mouthpiece. She’s perplexed how such a small person (I stand 4 feet 11 and 3/4 inches) could emit such…[READ MORE]


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How to help a SN Parent? Just LISTEN

        Much has been written about how folks get it wrong:  What not to say or do to a special needs parent, or how family fails to support them.  Here’s how a supportive friend got it right.         I have a dear friend named Cindy.  Someone like me might consider Cindy an “unlikely”…[READ MORE]


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Screwtape Screws with Autism: How To Ruin a Special Needs Family

        In homage to C.S. Lewis’ “Screwtape Letters,” How to effectively ruin a family affected by autism.   ***************************************     My Dear Wormwood, I understand you’ve been assigned to a special needs family for your next Patient. Autism, to be precise. Regrettably, I am dismayed at the Administration’s dismal appraisal of…[READ MORE]


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“Just a piece of paper” – In Honor of Autism D-Day

  In honor of our D-Day.  On August 20, 2004, a pediatric neurologist scribbled, “Diagnostic code 299.00.  Autism,” on a prescription pad.  Some pieces of paper cut far deeper than others. **********************************************************  “Just a piece of paper” A marriage certificate.  Divorce papers.  A Do Not Resuscitate Form.  An adoption certificate.  A will, deed or pink slip. “Just…[READ MORE]


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Kim Fam Tricked-Out Van – Pt. 3: Mobile, Multi-Purpose Modularity

    In the first post of the series, I introduced a Summer Survival Strategy:  Tricking out the family minivan. In the second post, I detailed a checklist of Must Have items, particularly helpful for ASD families, or anyone weathering (withering?) the summer. In this third and last post, I present a survey of multi-purpose…[READ MORE]


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Kim Fam Tricked-Out Van – Pt. 2: The Checklist

    In my last post (before my July got hijacked by a sudden housing move), I introduced part one of  Summer Survival:  The Kim Fam Tricked-out Van.  Today, I finally get around to Part Two, “The Checklist.”           The Usual Suspects Most moms I know carry the standard minivan supplies:  a…[READ MORE]


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Summer Survival: The Kim Fam Tricked-Out Van

  Hooray for summer vacation!   Or, not so much?   Yeah, I hear you.   Extended breaks can be trying for any parent, especially with kids at home milling about, aimlessly.  This is especially acute for special needs parents. Like many kids with autism, Jeremy does well with structure.  He flourishes at school because of…[READ MORE]


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