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Fatherhood, Hijacked | When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan

    In the world of Special Needs parenting, moms usually get all the press (well, of the press we do get.)  Mom is usually the one to duke it out at IEP meetings.  Moms rule most of the blogosphere.  Moms march on Capitol Hill.  And all those da Vinci, Michelangelo, and Raphael depictions of the Madonna? (The Virgin, not Like a Virgin)  Nary a father to be seen.  But what about Dad?...

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“What About My Child?!” Amidst Grads, Gowns & Grief, A Different Story Unfolds

  Ah, the merry month of June!  A joyous and hectic season.  Flurrying about between graduations and gowns, gifts and weddings. “What’s next?  Which college?  What city?  Which company?” Their graduations and gowns; their shiny gifts and weddings.  I smile to suppress the slight rankle of bittersweet.  For within these hallowed months, the ghost of my Idealized Child...

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What Now? Overwhelmed & Underqualified | When Life’s Got You Hiding in an Upper Room

    “Who me?  A Special Needs Parent?  I can’t do this!  I’m not qualified.” Growing up, I was afraid of those handicapped kids, tucked away in the portables at the rear of campus.  I probably even used The R Word.  Even as an adult, I avoided making eye contact with someone in a wheelchair.   “Do I make eye contact, or is that rude?  Should I open the door for them or is that...

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Special Teams (The Kicker) | A Post-Game Huddle

Confession: I’m not much of a football person.  I just can’t wrap my brain around all the rules.  I’m not a rules person.  As they say in the Pirates of the Caribbean, “Rules? They’re more like guidelines, anyways…” Most of the time, I’m like this,   But I can get into a Super Bowl party (who doesn’t love a snack buffet?)  One of my primitive questions was,  “Lemme get this straight: ...

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Faith Through Disappointment – Part 4: Get in the WORD

    In Part one of the series, “Faith Through Disappointment,” I introduced the “Four Gets” in my journey to wholeness.  The first was to Get REAL.  Be honest with yourself and with God about your grief and anger. Part two, was Get HELP.  In your struggle, don’t shrivel from self-imposed martyrdom.  Permit yourself a White Flag Moment. Part three, was Get...

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Why won’t You fix this? Why does God let this happen?

  “Why do You let this happen?!” In 2005, we’d been living post-autism for a year.   Three year old Jeremy had been immersed in aggressive therapy for 40+ hours a week.  The New Normal left no time for naps, leisurely trips to the park, or any other typical toddler-activities. Undergirding all the therapy was a severely restricted diet, and having to choke down a medicinal mud...

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“Who me, a Special Needs Parent? I’m the wrong person for this kid!”

  My mother often laments how I am such a LOUD girl. When we’re on the phone, she typically asks me to turn down my volume.  Or better yet, speak about a foot away from the mouthpiece. She’s perplexed how such a small person (I stand 4 feet 11 and 3/4 inches) could emit such a big, booming sound. Especially for an Asian daughter, it’s considered unbecoming and uncouth....

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“Just a piece of paper” – In Honor of Autism D-Day

  In honor of our D-Day.  On August 20, 2004, a pediatric neurologist scribbled, “Diagnostic code 299.00.  Autism,” on a prescription pad.  Some pieces of paper cut far deeper than others. **********************************************************  “Just a piece of paper” A marriage certificate.  Divorce papers.  A Do Not Resuscitate Form.  An adoption certificate....

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“Why Me?” – God’s Spiritual IEP For Me

    Like many special needs children, my son has an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) at school.  At present, it includes a 1:1 shadow aide who supports him exclusively throughout the day, speech therapy, occupational therapy, and behavioral therapy. Is it fair that my child gets a free bus ride to and from school, while hundreds of other parents must jockey in queue on a single-lane...

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