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“What About My Child?!” Amidst Grads, Gowns & Grief, A Different Story Unfolds

  Ah, the merry month of June!  A joyous and hectic season.  Flurrying about between graduations and gowns, gifts and weddings. “What’s next?  Which college?  What city?  Which company?” Their graduations and gowns; their shiny gifts and weddings.  I smile to suppress the slight rankle of bittersweet.  For within these hallowed months, the ghost of my Idealized Child...

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Waiting through fear and grief, “Do not be afraid!”

  “Your child has autism.  He’ll need at least 40 hours of intensive therapy a week.  He may not learn to speak, function or live independently.  He’ll likely not go to college, marry, or have his own family.  You’ll have to abort your plans and rearrange your lives to care for him full-time.  His prognosis? Unknown.  You’ll just have to wait and see.” In...

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Why This Special Needs Tiger Mama Bear Didn’t Intervene

  There are helicopter parents, then there are Special Needs parent stealth bombers.  How this Asian Special Needs Tiger Mama Bear (I know.  That’s a lot of mixed metaphors) nearly became a weapon of mass destruction and ravaged a playground when her cub got threatened.  Why I didn’t intervene. ******************************************** It was a classic Special Needs Mama Bear...

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Faith Through Disappointment – Part 4: Get in the WORD

    In Part one of the series, “Faith Through Disappointment,” I introduced the “Four Gets” in my journey to wholeness.  The first was to Get REAL.  Be honest with yourself and with God about your grief and anger. Part two, was Get HELP.  In your struggle, don’t shrivel from self-imposed martyrdom.  Permit yourself a White Flag Moment. Part three, was Get...

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Faith through Disappointment – Part 1: ALCF Women’s Conference 2013

On October 5, 2013, I had the privilege of speaking at my church, Abundant Life Christian Fellowship in Mountain View, CA.  It was an honor to be part of the teaching team for the annual Women’s Conference, composed of keynote Dr. Gloria White-Hammond, and five fellow workshop speakers:  Each uniquely gifted and passionate about seeing women healed and made whole. For the 2013 theme of...

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Why won’t You fix this? Why does God let this happen?

  “Why do You let this happen?!” In 2005, we’d been living post-autism for a year.   Three year old Jeremy had been immersed in aggressive therapy for 40+ hours a week.  The New Normal left no time for naps, leisurely trips to the park, or any other typical toddler-activities. Undergirding all the therapy was a severely restricted diet, and having to choke down a medicinal mud...

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Why did God let this happen? Did You lead us out here to die?

    “Did You lead us out here to die?” As Pharaoh approached, the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them. They were terrified and cried out to the Lord. They said to Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? Didn’t we say to you in...

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“Just a piece of paper” – In Honor of Autism D-Day

  In honor of our D-Day.  On August 20, 2004, a pediatric neurologist scribbled, “Diagnostic code 299.00.  Autism,” on a prescription pad.  Some pieces of paper cut far deeper than others. **********************************************************  “Just a piece of paper” A marriage certificate.  Divorce papers.  A Do Not Resuscitate Form.  An adoption certificate....

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“Why Me?” – God’s Spiritual IEP For Me

    Like many special needs children, my son has an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) at school.  At present, it includes a 1:1 shadow aide who supports him exclusively throughout the day, speech therapy, occupational therapy, and behavioral therapy. Is it fair that my child gets a free bus ride to and from school, while hundreds of other parents must jockey in queue on a single-lane...

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“Broken” Child, Broken Parent

“I used to think my son’s disability, his “brokenness,” was intolerable.  But now I find myself glorying in my own.” In 2004, my family stepped off a plane after one year of serving on foreign missions to Central Asia. We had taken our six-month old newborn, Jeremy, to a third world country few had ever heard of, until we explained, “It’s a country next...

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