Inspired by this recent humorous post by Dale Hudson of Relevant Children’s Ministry, here are:
31 Flavors of Crazy: Things Said By No Special Needs Ministry Leader, Ever
- “Special Needs”? Whatev. Just throw him in. It’ll be fine.
- Please, no more volunteers. Go serve 1:1 on the parking team or something.
- I’ve got a great idea: STROBE LIGHTS.
- Enough with the questions, already! You know how we roll.
- That’s too much Velcro.
- Mom/Dad, trust me. There’s something wrong with your kid.
- “Glutino”? Is that, like, an Avenger?
- We’ll only take you if you have a degree in Special Ed.
- That’s so retarded.
- Uh, what’s the kid’s problem again?
- Sure. Just drop in whenever.
- You’re an MFT, OT, SLP (or) BCBA? Whoa, that’s a whole lotta letters. So, what do you really do?
- Pulpit time? Nah, nobody needs to know about us.
- Stop throwing money at us. All we need is a portable in the back.
- Where’s the Jesus in all this?
- For the love of goodness, gimme something to do around here!
- Like, right now? Aw, come on. You can hold it…
- “The Laminator”? Now, he’s an Avenger. Right?
- Peanuts! Get your peanuts here!
- We’re just a children’s ministry.
- Attention, everyone! I need you to all stare (wait for it….) NOW.
- Inclusion is in the Bible? Cool!
- We’re a nice bonus program. Just axe us when our numbers start to dwindle.
- Training? What training? We just figger it out as we go.
- Yo DJ, crank up the bass! We like it THUMPIN’ in here.
- Skip the background check. She looks nice enough.
- This does nothing for my character, patience, or compassion quotient.
- Dunno if anything’s really getting through. It’s just childcare.
- Let’s not bother the teenagers. They need to study. Besides, they already know how to serve.
- Intake forms? Poo, who needs’em. We like to keep things spicy around here.
- I’ll take a Venti. Decaff, please.
Anything else Special Needs Ministry leaders or team members never say? Go ahead, make our day 😀
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Wow! So true and hilarious!
Thanks Naomi! And STM stands for, “Stop! Too Many.” Right? 😉